Psoriasis: an opportunity to know myself better and deeper
The first time I had a psoriasis flare-up I was 10 years old. My body filled with lots of itchy and unknown red patches, which I shortly had to learn to live with. When I was 10 years old, it was also my first time experiencing grief after the loss of my beloved grandma and great-grandmother. I remember it being a confusing time: a life-interval where I was of course still a child, but also developing more and more a consciousness of my own. I was sad, and didn’t know how to process the sudden absence of two people I loved so deeply. Amongst that mixture of emotions, my body made itself heard too.
It wasn’t until a few years ago -when I had another flare-up- that I made the connection: the first time I had psoriasis coincided with my first time experiencing grief. My body was also doing its part processing the emotional stress, sadness and confusion of those years.
The more I get to know myself and deepen my pathway into holistic bodywork, the more I feel so fascinated and amused by the way our bodies express themselves. Yes, because any skin rash, pain or discomfort is a sign that our bodies are communicating to us. In Western medicine, however, the default reaction is to suppress those signs, rather than enquiring why they have arisen.
But let’s take a step back first. What is psoriasis?
Psoriasis is an autoimmune condition that causes red scaly patches on the skin. When you suffer from it, your immune system attacks healthy cells confusing them for invaders, causing an inflammatory response in the body. It usually takes up to 30 days for new skin cells to replace the old ones. However, under the condition of psoriasis, this timeline shortens to every 3-4 days, leading to the formation of those red scaly patches on the skin. While illnesses and sore throats can trigger it, emotional stress is often the main culprit.
Now that we have specified what psoriasis is, it’s important to also outline that there is not a permanent cure for it. And trust me, when your skin is so itchy at night the only thing you wished for was that a magic cream to get rid of it existed ( not called steroids..). However, our bodies and inner mechanisms are more complex than this. Through my very lows with this skin condition, I’ve got to know myself better and deeper.
In my last year of uni, I had the worst flare-up I could have possibly imagined. My whole body was covered with psoriasis. It happened in the time window of 3 to 4 days: small dots kept on appearing like distant stars in the sky, and day by day they were expanding and merging together, drawing organic shapes all over me.
That marked the start of a rabbit hole I was in for almost two years: thick steroid ointments; evenings filled with Reddit forums looking for the magic solution, drop of self-confidence and a constant sense of hopelessness. Then I started cutting off tomatoes, aubergines, gluten, wine, sugar & much more. Result? None of this made it better. On the contrary, the restrictive lifestyle made me more unhappy and emotionally stressed.
I wish at that time I could have wasted less time reading about quick fixes, spent less money on fancy creams and kept eating why I liked. I was trying to fix my psoriasis without firstly understanding why I had it, and what my body needed to feel supported.
Most importantly, I wished I showed myself more self-acceptance and compassion.
That flare-up eventually cleared up after almost 3 years. The sun and sea water did wonders to it, but a mentality shift in myself was the true game changer.
When my skin now occasionally flares up, I stop and listen. What is my body saying here? Do I need to slow down? Have I been looking after myself lately? Since I know there isn’t a permanent cure for it, I might as well turn it into an opportunity to get to know myself better and actively check in with my body.
If you’re struggling with psoriasis, eczema, acne or any other skin conditions, I know it’s not easy. It’s a journey of ups and downs to find out what works well for you and your skin. Stress can heavily be part of skin inflammation episodes. A massage session can bring many benefits during flares-up: it first of all provides relaxation and the space for emotional release. Meanwhile, on a physical level, it activates blood circulation, lymphatic system -crucial for the body’s detoxification - and finally, it nourishes the skin deeply.
Lastly , although these experiences are very personal, I recommend sharing and speaking about them with each other. It’s important to share awareness and to feel that, after all, you’re never alone in it.
Thank you for your time.
Love,
tocco studio X
